Quotes & Jokes by Red Buttons / page 7
Dean Martin’s pancreas, who overheard his liver singing "I got a right to sing the blues." Never got a dinner!
Dinah Shore? Wonderful woman. Dinah formed a foundation to locate missing senior citizens by putting their pictures on prune juice bottles.
Elizabeth Taylor, who recently built a halfway house for girls who don't want to go all the way. Never got a dinner!
Burt Reynolds, great sex symbol of the movies, who said, "I owe it all to one great part." Never got a dinner!
Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!
Old McDonald, who said on his honeymoon, "Ee-eye-ee-eye-oooohhh!!!" Never got a dinner!
Moses, who said to the children of Israel, "Wear your galoshes; I never did this trick before." Never got a dinner!
Flash Gordon, who said, "No, that’s not how I got my name." Never got a dinner!
King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, "For better service, take a number." Never got a dinner!
Jack the Ripper’s mother, who said to Jack, "How come I never see you with the same girl twice? " Never got a dinner!
Then, there was Cary Grant. He spent three hours a week in hospitals teaching nervous people how to eat jello.
Gandhi, who went to Wendy’s and asked, "Where’s the belief?" Never got a dinner!
The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, who said, "This isn't a hump. I ate a canteloupe and it backed up on me." Never got a dinner!
Lee Iacocca, who said to Dolly Parton, "Why do you need an airbag?" Never got a dinner!