Quotes & Jokes by Red Buttons / page 7
Old McDonald, who said on his honeymoon, "Ee-eye-ee-eye-oooohhh!!!" Never got a dinner!
The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, who said to his tailor Irving, "Forget the slacks - please work on the blazer!" Never got a dinner!
Jack the Ripper’s mother, who said to Jack, "How come I never see you with the same girl twice? " Never got a dinner!
Gandhi, who went to Wendy’s and asked, "Where’s the belief?" Never got a dinner!
Steven Spielberg’s mother, who said to E.T., "I don't care where you're from, you're here and you're gonna get bar mitzvahed!" Never got a dinner!
Lee Iacocca, who said to Dolly Parton, "Why do you need an airbag?" Never got a dinner!
Nostradamus, who predicted that Billy Bailey would not come home. Never got a dinner!
The doctor who delivered Mr. T, who said, "He slapped me!" Never got a dinner!
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
The Invisible Man, who said to his wife, "I don't care if it looks silly, don't stop!" Never got a dinner!
An Orthodox Jewish vampire, who was so Kosher that he wouldn't suck a neck unless it was salted first. Never got a dinner!
King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, "For better service, take a number." Never got a dinner!
Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, "It’s only a nickname." Never got a dinner!