Quotes & Jokes by Red Buttons / page 6
King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, "Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea." Never got a dinner!
Rip Van Winkle, who said, "Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom." Never got a dinner!
Nostradamus, who predicted he would never get a dinner! Never got a dinner!
The last time I heard booing like that was when I was doing my act.
Dinah Shore? Wonderful woman. Dinah formed a foundation to locate missing senior citizens by putting their pictures on prune juice bottles.
Burt Reynolds, great sex symbol of the movies, who said, "I owe it all to one great part." Never got a dinner!
Moses, who said to the children of Israel, "Wear your galoshes; I never did this trick before." Never got a dinner!
Captain Hook's mother, who said to Little Hook, "For God sakes, don't scratch it!" Never got a dinner!
Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!
When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.
Then, there was Cary Grant. He spent three hours a week in hospitals teaching nervous people how to eat jello.
Sleeping Beauty, who said to Prince Charming, "Are you sure all we did was kiss?" Never got a dinner!