Quotes & Jokes by Red Buttons / page 6
Noah’s wife, who said to Noah, "Don't let the elephants watch the rabbits." Never got a dinner!
The last time I heard booing like that was when I was doing my act.
Rip Van Winkle, who said, "Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom." Never got a dinner!
Dinah Shore? Wonderful woman. Dinah formed a foundation to locate missing senior citizens by putting their pictures on prune juice bottles.
Nostradamus, who predicted he would never get a dinner! Never got a dinner!
Moses, who said to the children of Israel, "Wear your galoshes; I never did this trick before." Never got a dinner!
Burt Reynolds, great sex symbol of the movies, who said, "I owe it all to one great part." Never got a dinner!
When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.
Sleeping Beauty, who said to Prince Charming, "Are you sure all we did was kiss?" Never got a dinner!
Captain Hook's mother, who said to Little Hook, "For God sakes, don't scratch it!" Never got a dinner!
Old McDonald, who said on his honeymoon, "Ee-eye-ee-eye-oooohhh!!!" Never got a dinner!
Then, there was Cary Grant. He spent three hours a week in hospitals teaching nervous people how to eat jello.