Quotes & Jokes by Richard Lewis / page 19

For sanity,I just cut down my family tree.

The biggest plus of marriage is finally realizing that we are alone.

Life's a beautiful thing. With every passing day I have more to worry about.

I'd deeply apologize to Richard Lewis for my offensive slurs to myself.

I'll never die. Been there done that.

It was so important for me just to have my ex feel good in bed. The low point was when I started to sing, 'Here we go, orgasm! Here we go!' And then when it finally happened, running a victory lap - that was sad. And the high fives, wasn't that unnecessary?