Quotes & Jokes by Richard Lewis / page 19
276 quotes
God forbid I should have a simultaneous orgasm with anybody. My goal this year is to make love being naked.
I'd deeply apologize to Richard Lewis for my offensive slurs to myself.
It was so important for me just to have my ex feel good in bed. The low point was when I started to sing, 'Here we go, orgasm! Here we go!' And then when it finally happened, running a victory lap - that was sad. And the high fives, wasn't that unnecessary?
When I die I'll be cremated and my ashes sprinkled over my shrink's toupee.
The biggest plus of marriage is finally realizing that we are alone.