Quotes & Jokes by Richard Lewis / page 19
276 quotes
When I die I'll be cremated and my ashes sprinkled over my shrink's toupee.
I'd deeply apologize to Richard Lewis for my offensive slurs to myself.
Life's a beautiful thing. With every passing day I have more to worry about.
It was so important for me just to have my ex feel good in bed. The low point was when I started to sing, 'Here we go, orgasm! Here we go!' And then when it finally happened, running a victory lap - that was sad. And the high fives, wasn't that unnecessary?
The biggest plus of marriage is finally realizing that we are alone.