Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 2

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) "It's the same sex all the time.”

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut.

When they named a hurricane "Hurricane Ike", I went "finally, they have the balls to name a hurricane after a crack smoking, wife beating motherfucker."

I feel like Adam when he said to Eve, "Back up, I don't know how big this gets."

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

Sometimes it’s more noble to tell a small lie than to deliver a painful truth.

Our job is improving the quality of life not just delaying death.

You know what music is - a harmonic connection between all living beings.

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.

Freud: If it's not one thing, it's your mother.

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and yelling, "You want a piece of me?"

Death – to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

If you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? Carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.