Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 2

209 quotes

Our job is improving the quality of life not just delaying death.

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

When they named a hurricane "Hurricane Ike", I went "finally, they have the balls to name a hurricane after a crack smoking, wife beating motherfucker."

You know what music is - a harmonic connection between all living beings.

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) "It's the same sex all the time.”

Sometimes it’s more noble to tell a small lie than to deliver a painful truth.

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut.

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.

I feel like Adam when he said to Eve, "Back up, I don't know how big this gets."

The moments of comedy are there. But the whole idea of a vacation is the stripping away of stuff and then, by the end of the vacation, at least in my life, you do have these moments as a group, as a family having a great time, so mellow again. It takes a while to do that but that's what this movie is about.

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and yelling, "You want a piece of me?"

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

Death – to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.

In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say "Stop, or I'll say stop again."

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?