Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 2

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) "It's the same sex all the time.”

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut.

When they named a hurricane "Hurricane Ike", I went "finally, they have the balls to name a hurricane after a crack smoking, wife beating motherfucker."

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

I feel like Adam when he said to Eve, "Back up, I don't know how big this gets."

Sometimes it’s more noble to tell a small lie than to deliver a painful truth.

You know what music is - a harmonic connection between all living beings.

Our job is improving the quality of life not just delaying death.

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.

Freud: If it's not one thing, it's your mother.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and yelling, "You want a piece of me?"

Death – to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like "We have to get rid of dictators", but he's pretty much one himself.