Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 3
You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to.
Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
If you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? Carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.
We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like "We have to get rid of dictators", but he's pretty much one himself.
The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.
Is it rude to Twitter during sex? To go "omg, omg, wtf, zzz"? Is that rude?
Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.
I love you with every cell, with every atom. I love you on a subatomic level.
And if you want a linguistic adventure, go drinking with a Scotsman. Cause you can't fucking understand them before.
Baby, were your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special...
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
What's wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity and decency and, God forbid, maybe even humor. Death is not the enemy, gentlemen. If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.
If you've ever thought of jumping off of a tall building, there was a guy who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. He survived, and he said this, he said "halfway down, I thought it was a bad idea."