I have a huge crush on President George W. Bush. I saw him at a recent fundraiser, and he`s a babe. He`s got that Ronald Reagan charm. I think he`s hot. I respect his wife, but if he wasn`t married I`d be putting on my cowboy boots and coming around.
Roseanne Barr Quotes and Jokes
I have five kids from three marriages. I come from a trailer park. My sister and brother are both gay. I have multiple personalities.
Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
Sometimes for me not throwing a tantrum is what running a marathon or swimming the English Channel must be like for others of a less-challenging emotional nature.
I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life.
Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird. Unfortunately, that bird is a California condor.
This town is a back-stabbing, scum-sucking, small-minded town, but thanks for the money.