Quotes & Jokes by Sandra Bernhard / page 3
I don't want someone coming in and passing judgment on my life.
There are so few women in general who aren't completely threatened and confused by other women's success. It's very disappointing.
The fumes are killing us, and we wonder why things are going haywire.
I didn't belong when I was in high school. Now people are trying to buy lips.
Hip doesn't really come into play anymore as far as I can tell.
I'm very much a humanist. I'm very much pro-choice. I'm very much politically correct.
Kids need to be educated about sex and sexuality and if they're going to have sex, learn how to protect themselves and not get pregnant.
Onstage, I'm still wearing my fabulous, sheer dresses because I'm not that big.
I would be dishonorable in a relationship because I wasn't getting what I wanted from that person.
I'm not saying I'm some high priestess. I do things, I'm sure, that are damaging, but it's certainly not on purpose.
I don't like surgery. I don't like elective surgery, I don't like surgery that you have to have.
I'm trying to appeal to the disenfranchised everybody, not just specifically gay.
I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.
How far can we go? How much can we absorb and still have some peace of mind?