Quotes & Jokes by Sandra Bernhard / page 3
There are so few women in general who aren't completely threatened and confused by other women's success. It's very disappointing.
The fumes are killing us, and we wonder why things are going haywire.
I don't want someone coming in and passing judgment on my life.
Hip doesn't really come into play anymore as far as I can tell.
I'm very much a humanist. I'm very much pro-choice. I'm very much politically correct.
I didn't belong when I was in high school. Now people are trying to buy lips.
Onstage, I'm still wearing my fabulous, sheer dresses because I'm not that big.
Kids need to be educated about sex and sexuality and if they're going to have sex, learn how to protect themselves and not get pregnant.
I would be dishonorable in a relationship because I wasn't getting what I wanted from that person.
How far can we go? How much can we absorb and still have some peace of mind?
I've always been opposed to groups. I can't believe the doctrine of group is going to work for every single person within the group.
I don't like surgery. I don't like elective surgery, I don't like surgery that you have to have.
I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.
There are few performers who would have had the audacity to even bring up the fact that they had been poorly reviewed.