Quotes & Jokes by Sandra Bernhard / page 4

Things are so scary and intimidating with AIDS and the right wing that people are looking for somebody to just give them safe harbors.

I didn't belong when I was in high school. Now people are trying to buy lips.

I'm somebody who can absorb a lot.

Hip doesn't really come into play anymore as far as I can tell.

How far can we go? How much can we absorb and still have some peace of mind?

Kids need to be educated about sex and sexuality and if they're going to have sex, learn how to protect themselves and not get pregnant.

I would be dishonorable in a relationship because I wasn't getting what I wanted from that person.

I'm not saying I'm some high priestess. I do things, I'm sure, that are damaging, but it's certainly not on purpose.

I don't like surgery. I don't like elective surgery, I don't like surgery that you have to have.

I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.

I don't believe in karma.

I like doing new material in LA. It's very challenging.

There are few performers who would have had the audacity to even bring up the fact that they had been poorly reviewed.

I believe in people living their lives and having privacy.

I've always been opposed to groups. I can't believe the doctrine of group is going to work for every single person within the group.