Quotes & Jokes by Sandra Bernhard / page 4

I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.

There are few performers who would have had the audacity to even bring up the fact that they had been poorly reviewed.

Unfortunately, most college kids these days aren't coming from any place - they seem to ask the same kind of questions over and over again.

Once you're heterosexual and comfortable with that, you don't need to take out an announcement every day.

That disturbs people when they know they didn't have the guts or integrity to stick to their dreams.

Everybody has their own way of tapping into their realness.

I think comedy is definitely a more male oriented field - social commentary, political commentary - I think it's just easier for men to get up and say whatever they want. But I don't think there's that many women who really want to put their toe in the water either. It's not the easiest life or lifestyle to get out there and kind of shake the shit up.

I believe in people living their lives and having privacy.

A remembrance can mean nothing to the one remembered; it can only remind the ones left behind how little they did while you were still alive.

Things are so scary and intimidating with AIDS and the right wing that people are looking for somebody to just give them safe harbors.

I am always hoping to do another CD. This atmosphere has been difficult.

I'm somebody who can absorb a lot.

For most of my relationships, I would have liaisons, and I would feel guilty.

I can't tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see something bad coming.

I don't believe in karma.