Quotes & Jokes by Steve Martin / page 12

I saw the movie, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and I was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realised why: they're crouching and hidden.

With a cheery delicacy she divided my obsessions into three categories: acceptable, unacceptable, and hilarious.

I'm surprised even now that I was aware of things like that at that age. I don't know why. But I decided I would just rather not do them. So I quit for a while.

I wrote a novel this year called "Shop Girl", and several producers came to me and wanted to turn it into a movie. And I said, "If you think you`re going to take this book and change it around, and Hollywoodize it and change the ending... that`s going to cost you."

We've taken what was just once a racetrack and made it a multifaceted gaming destination for the entire region.

I just think they should get a fair shake. They didn't. They didn't have the rights regular criminals get.

I would have felt a little funny if another actor was playing this role.

...you're nuts but you're welcome here.

Unlike Ray Porter, his love is fearless and without reservation.

There's a point when you're famous and it's unbearable to go out because you're too famous. And there's a moment when you're famous just right.

It was easier to sell a painting that was not for sale.

I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.

Only then does he realize what he has done to Mirabelle, how wanting a square inch of her and not all of her has damaged them both, and how he cannot justify his actions except that, well, it was life.

I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.