Quotes & Jokes by Steve Martin / page 12

These times are much franker. For example, in the first movie we have to assume that the daughter and the son-in-law who got married were lovers before they got married. That could never have been in the '50s.

Or is it that I think too much?

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.

I would have felt a little funny if another actor was playing this role.

As a school board we felt it's an unfair expense to families. The lawsuit has a certain logic to it - if you have free public education, you can't put these things on top of it. It defeats the purpose.

To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.

Unlike Ray Porter, his love is fearless and without reservation.

Only then does he realize what he has done to Mirabelle, how wanting a square inch of her and not all of her has damaged them both, and how he cannot justify his actions except that, well, it was life.

With a cheery delicacy she divided my obsessions into three categories: acceptable, unacceptable, and hilarious.

It takes time though for owners and trainers to invest that additional purse money to start cultivating that better racing product.

I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.

She has learned that her body is precious and it mustn't be offered carelessly ever again, as it holds a direct connection to her heart.

I just think they should get a fair shake. They didn't. They didn't have the rights regular criminals get.

I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That's the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth.

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.