Quotes & Jokes by Steve Martin / page 11

I didn’t worry if a bit got no response, as long as I believed it had enough response to linger.

It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.

As a school board we felt it's an unfair expense to families. The lawsuit has a certain logic to it - if you have free public education, you can't put these things on top of it. It defeats the purpose.

In talking to girls I could never remember the right sequence of things to say. I'd meet a girl and say, "Hi, was it good for you too?" If a girl spent the night, I'd wake up in the morning and then try to get her drunk.

Hello, this is Harris. I'm in right now, so you can talk to me personally. Please start talking at the sound of the beep.

It takes time though for owners and trainers to invest that additional purse money to start cultivating that better racing product.

We are just happy that we are here in Brazil and that this was a good ending.

I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That's the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth.

Or is it that I think too much?

Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.

She has learned that her body is precious and it mustn't be offered carelessly ever again, as it holds a direct connection to her heart.

These times are much franker. For example, in the first movie we have to assume that the daughter and the son-in-law who got married were lovers before they got married. That could never have been in the '50s.

To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.

I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . But never at dusk! Never at dusk, I would never do that.

The auction houses seemed not as dull as their financial counterparts on Wall Street, where parents of daughters imagined glass celings and bottom patting.