Quotes & Jokes by Steve Martin / page 2
There is something going on now in Mexico that I happen to think is cruelty to animals. What I'm talking about, of course, is cat juggling.
Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.
And don't forget to fasten your condoms! Seatbelts, I mean seatbelts.
The emotions of men, however, were of a different order. They were pesky annoyances, small dust devils at her feet. Her knack for causing heartbreak was innate, but her vitality often made people forgive her romantic misdeeds.
I'm happy with how the day has gone and we've made positive steps forward each time I've gone out. My lap times have also been good and consistent from the outset, so it's good to be on the pace and feeling back at full health and fitness to really "ride" the bike.
You can’t marry him. You’re a Catholic and he’s… an asshole, think of the children.
You want to know how I think art should be taught to children? Take them to a museum and say, "This is art, and you can't do it."
When we started building out here, we knew this was where we were headed. After we built our first one, we realized a lot of our custom homes would have qualified for Built Green. Some of it's the quality of work, some of it's what the market entails for this type of home: It's what the buyers expect.
By the way, the proceeds from tonight's telecast - and I think this is so great - will be divvied up between huge corporations.