Quotes & Jokes by Steve Martin / page 3

Always... no wait... never...

Into the mud, scum queen!

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

She had the personality of a ZIP code in Kansas.

The new phone book’s here... The new phone book’s here... This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need... My name in print... That really makes somebody... Things are going to start happening to me now.

The operation was a success, but I'm afraid the doctor is dead.

I think when the movie `Roxanne' came out, which I also had written, I felt something new that I never felt, which was respect.

This film is only for Madagascar and Iran, neither of which follow American copyright law.

I have found that - just as in real life - imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.

I could never be a woman, 'cause I'd just stay home and play with my breasts all day.

It's pain that changes our lives.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.

I'd thought I'd spend time with the kids so they don't turn out weird.

It eventually appeared to be me, cinematically. When I was writing it I was actually an author, you know, writing a book. ... But there certainly is a difference in energy between a younger man and an older man.