Quotes & Jokes by Bob Hope / page 3
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, 'Congratulations. You have an eight-pound ham.'
I know I'm in England because this morning, my stomach got up two hours before I did and had a cup of tea! I've had so much tea, I slosh when I walk! You have to drink tea - I've tasted the coffee!
No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties.
Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life. She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
You can always tell when a man's well-informed. His views are pretty much like yours.
I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.