Quotes & Jokes by Daniel Tosh / page 15
The great thing about Los Angeles is that you can get so much money in this town by constantly failing. You can get a lot of television deals that don't go anywhere, but you still get paid.
One day, I want to get rich enough so that every time I walk into a room I can release a dozen doves.
How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, i'm a registered sex offender.
Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?
Perhaps your palate isn’t sophisticated enough to understand my brand of humor.
If you have ever typed 'sorry not sorry' I hope you die... not sorry.
MTV needs to go back to showing hot teens... before they were pregnant.
You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.