Quotes & Jokes by Dave Chappelle / page 4

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.

What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAP!!!!

I don't normally talk about my religion publicly because I don't want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful if you learn it the right way.

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.

I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.

You can become famous but you can't become unfamous. You can become infamous but not unfamous.

I don't like letting my friends drive drunk, but I was smoking a joint I really couldn't say shit to the guy.

I love being famous - it's phenomenal.

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive.

I don't want the money. I don't want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again.

My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.

After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding.

I got real important relationships in my life that are very empowering relationships.

You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.

Comedy is a very approval-oriented field.