Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 10

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Being a white supremacist is like getting into porn. At some point you gotta be like, "what the fuck was I thinking?"

How can there not already be a rapper named 'O'pinion'?

I think you're retarded, and not in the cute way.

You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.

Most people that commit to a life of celibacy weren't leaving that much on the table in the first place.

When rappers call each other "son" it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.

Using profanity is an indicator that you lack class, or feel strongly about being something, and want to get your fuckin' point across.

Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.

Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.

Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.

Perhaps being hated in the right way is preferable to being loved in the wrong one.

I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.