Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 12
Sorry sweety, you're not going to make the cut. You're just not unhealthy enough for me.
Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism.
Seems the first person to call someone a whore is usually another whore.
Finding your voice is something you have to keep working at. Your voice as a comic evolves the same way that you evolve. You have to find out what works for you. How can you express your opinion, your take on the situations in a way that feels natural to you? That’s where you find your voice.
Space and time are figments of you're imagination, unless the guy you're flying next to won't shut up.
Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.