Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 13
Finding your voice is something you have to keep working at. Your voice as a comic evolves the same way that you evolve. You have to find out what works for you. How can you express your opinion, your take on the situations in a way that feels natural to you? That’s where you find your voice.
I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
Sorry sweety, you're not going to make the cut. You're just not unhealthy enough for me.
I saw the family recently. Everybody's angry at me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. He goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'Shut up, Billy. You're gay.'
If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you're probably a bad actor.
Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism.
Water polo would be much more interesting if they hadn't gotten rid of the horses.
Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, "Satan is a myth... I guess".
Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
Misery loves company which is ironic because it rarely throws dinner parties.
Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.