Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 15
I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.
You know you've been listening to too much hip hop when you're response to a red light is "can't stop, won't stop son!".
I like to be able to connect with people. And that’s how I connect, right away. I like to really talk to somebody. To me, it makes my night more interesting.
Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
I don't trust you. I don't like you, and I don't respect you. That being said, I'm bored out of my mind and I'd like to invite you to dinner.
I really appreciate the way you don't appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again.
Parenthood seems really rewarding... like martyrdom, but without the glamour.
I'm pretty sure whoever said, "people are wonderful" spent very little time with people.
Writing a new film about cereal killers. Not serial killers, cereal killers. The main character can eat two, three boxes at a time.
Sex sells, but doesn't work so well as a strong-arm tactic. "Give me your purse or I'll make out with you so hard".
One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.
Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.