Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 15
You know you've been listening to too much hip hop when you're response to a red light is "can't stop, won't stop son!".
I've always wanted children... not of my own, but for yard work and reaching into tight places to get things I've dropped.
Vegas; one of the few places still encouraging men in their fifties to dress like their in a boy-band from the 80's.
I'm pretty sure whoever said, "people are wonderful" spent very little time with people.
I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.
The only time used underwear is valuable is as evidence during a rape trial.
Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
Another thing rappers, I admire your rebellious spirit, but materialism is a form of mental slavery. Slow down on the jewelry, pick up a book.
One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.
We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.
The best thing about bugs is their lack of self consciousness, also the ability to fly doesn't hurt.
Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
Parenthood seems really rewarding... like martyrdom, but without the glamour.
You realize what level of misery you have to be experiencing to see my 10-speed tied to a pole and then just be like, 'Look at this rich bastard right here!'