Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 18

It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.

I don't like the term 'intercourse'. I've always described sex as having taken her vagina 'into custody'.

Whenever I'm around people it causes me to feel nostalgic for the loneliness that drove me into their presence in the first place.

The worst part about people with bad personalities is they don't know it.

Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.

I wish you'd say that to my face. Not because I'm offended, but because I'm lonely and could use the company.

I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she's what's known as "not at all attracted to me".

Celebrated father's day by congratulating myself for not having a kid.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.

I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.

I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of.

The world treats beautiful people like they're good at something, which makes it so that they almost never get good at something.

Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.