Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 19
Celebrated father's day by congratulating myself for not having a kid.
Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
Finding your voice is something you have to keep working at. Your voice as a comic evolves the same way that you evolve. You have to find out what works for you. How can you express your opinion, your take on the situations in a way that feels natural to you? That’s where you find your voice.
America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
Guys don't use the word "pretty" enough. Like, "hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you".
I just don't feel like you're right for me... sorry, just talking to myself.
I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.