Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 5
If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
Nothing good about the sun if you're trying to watch television with out curtains.
I'd like to expand the definition of the word 'success' to include 'failure' as the one seems inseparable from the other.
I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.
Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
"Yo, yo, hear me out" is rarely ever followed by a reasonable, well articulated argument.
Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
You have the attention span of a large bug, and yet I don't feel good enough about myself to not date you.
I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought; "but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much".
We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
The great thing about having a small family is that there are fewer people to disappoint.