Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 7

Hey man. It's me again. I was just taking a whizz. Thought you might have called. Okay, later.

We had problems like all families but we had a lot of love. I was extremely loved. We always felt we had each other.

I think I could go away tomorrow. I've already accomplished something. It's such a selfish business that sometimes I get sick of myself.

I tend to stay up late, not because I'm partying but because it's the only time of the day when I'm alone and don't have to be performing.

I got you the big screen TV, deluxe karaoke machine, and THX quality sound that would make George Lucas cream in his pants!

Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.

Ever since I started to get recognition I've picked out certain fans and reverse-stalked them.

Well this is just a fist. But when I start throwing it around I can leave one hell of a mess.

Hey ringworm.

Caaaaaaaable guuuuuuy!

Hi, ladies. My name is Charlie Baileygates. Would you like to see my weasel?

There's new territory, there's new places to go, new things to explore. Why stay back there? Maybe it will take three films to find another character that is really totally original, but I've got a lifetime, so why waste it just repeating myself.

This concludes our broadcast day. Click.

I would visualize things coming to me. It would just make me feel better. Visualization works if you work hard. That's the thing. You can't just visualize and go eat a sandwich.

You know, I live a monastic lifestyle. No, I do. I do live in extremes, basically. I go back and forth. Once every six months, I'll have a day where I eat more chocolate than has ever been consumed by a human being.