Quotes & Jokes by Robin Williams / page 11

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

Nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget.

There are so many beautiful parts of the world... Thailand, Italy, the south of France. There are places in Spain that are astonishing. But here... 25 miles and you go up on Mount Tam to see the fog come in; 25 miles the other direction and you're somewhere else that takes your breath away. There's no question this is where I want to live. Never has been.

The brightest light has gone out.

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp.

Look at us - we're a San Francisco wedding cake.

This is brought to you by HBO, which is a subsidiary of Time Warner, also owned by America Online. You've got mail! I hope you don't have stocks.

When I find out a hotel doesn't have a DSL, it's like "What? There's no toilet?" Once you get used to high speed you ain’t going back.

I love the guys who say "I watch NASCAR for the racing." Yeah, and I watch porn for the acting. You liar!

The only thing I'm really suited for is the musical version of Congo.

Ah... so many pedestrians, so little time...

Eat what? There's nothing here! Gandhi ate more than this!

I always wanted to play a big, black man, but that would cost too much make-up.

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes.

Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer." Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, "It's five o'clock in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time."