Quotes & Jokes by Steve Martin / page 12

...you're nuts but you're welcome here.

I'm surprised even now that I was aware of things like that at that age. I don't know why. But I decided I would just rather not do them. So I quit for a while.

Unlike Ray Porter, his love is fearless and without reservation.

There's a point when you're famous and it's unbearable to go out because you're too famous. And there's a moment when you're famous just right.

I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That's the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth.

It takes time though for owners and trainers to invest that additional purse money to start cultivating that better racing product.

To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.

She has learned that her body is precious and it mustn't be offered carelessly ever again, as it holds a direct connection to her heart.

I would have felt a little funny if another actor was playing this role.

Only then does he realize what he has done to Mirabelle, how wanting a square inch of her and not all of her has damaged them both, and how he cannot justify his actions except that, well, it was life.

Or is it that I think too much?

With a cheery delicacy she divided my obsessions into three categories: acceptable, unacceptable, and hilarious.

I just think they should get a fair shake. They didn't. They didn't have the rights regular criminals get.

The auction houses seemed not as dull as their financial counterparts on Wall Street, where parents of daughters imagined glass celings and bottom patting.

I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.