Quotes & Jokes by Woody Allen / page 20

There's more to life than sitting around in the sun in your underwear playing the clarinet.

I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man`s plight in this mysterious universe.

I don't know enough to be incompetent.

I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.

Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety.

I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.

Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.

It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.

At the moment it's just a Notion, but with a bit of backing I think I could turn it into Concept, and then an Idea.

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Because it’s much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.

Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.