Quotes & Jokes by Woody Allen / page 21
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?
My ex-wife claimed she was violated. Knowing my ex-wife, it wasn’t a moving violation.
At the moment it's just a Notion, but with a bit of backing I think I could turn it into Concept, and then an Idea.
I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things - or who doesn't win them - you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
Bidnick gorges himself on Viagra, but the dosage makes him hallucinate and causes him to imagine he is Pliny the Elder.
I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.
Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.