Quotes & Jokes by Woody Allen / page 23
I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion... but it won't get much sleep.
Engrave this Quote Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.
It's something that occurs to me many times in my movies. They can often be treated comically or dramatically, and I usually opt to treat them comically. But it occurred to me that you could get a story and you could fool around with it both ways.
You always think another time would have been ideal for you... the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.
I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher - they are going to make a board game out of it.
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman.
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.
There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dark about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.