Quotes & Jokes by Bill Cosby / page 10

Fatherhood is asking your son to make up a name rather than tell anybody who he is.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I twice failed rather disgracefully.

Why do kids always say peace out, I though peace was in.

I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.

It's painful, but we can't heal ourselves unless we cleanse the wounds.

I recently turned fifty, which is young for a tree, midlife for an elephant, and ancient for a quarter miler, who's son now says, "Dad, I just can't run the quarter with you anymore unless I bring something to read."

The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.

My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.

It doesn't have to be that way.

We go out of our way to make people so different,... to punish them because of color, because of sex, because of size, and the game starts.

The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.

Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn't let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to "Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" was not "In the men's room, Julie.”

My mother comes in my room and says, "Just look at this mess! This is a pig sty!" Now, I've already been in the room five hours, and she wants me to LOOK at it.

And to those people with no children but who think they'd like to have them some day to fulfill their lives. Remember: With fulfillment comes responsibility.