Quotes & Jokes by Bill Cosby / page 9

You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to watch the dog doing them.

Did you ever see the customers in health-food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.

Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I twice failed rather disgracefully.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.

Why do kids always say peace out, I though peace was in.

These people marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around.

Take that money and build something you can see... something for the children.

That's why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.

I've got a Ferrari. VROOM! I do 104 from the garage to the front door.

She (his wife) is the wind beneath my wings.

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

Never say to younger people "that was before your time," because the last full moon was before their time!