Quotes & Jokes by Bill Cosby / page 6
A baseball manager has learned a lot about his job from having played the game, but a parent has not learned a thing from having once been a child.
I was told maybe nine years ago by an executive who was working for a major network that the networks from now on are going to be entertaining 13-year-old people, and that's what you see today.
Look, I'm not going to put pressure on the boy. If he's good... Great. If he's bad... If he quits, he's dead.
No parent must ever say, "Get the kids out of here, I'm trying to watch TV." The father who does start saying this is likely to see one of his children on the 6:00 news.
As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by survival of the fittest.
If you're a parent, the five worst words you can say to your children are, "When I was your age ..." You were never their age. You were older in the womb.
My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.
Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.
I can tell you, from experience, that whoever said "Children and fools cannot lie" was one or the other himself. There`s only one way to guarantee that your children are telling the truth: limit your questions to the names of their schools.
My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow.
Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.
I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.