Quotes & Jokes by Bill Cosby / page 7

168 quotes

When you become senile, you won't know it.

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.

Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world.

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow.

You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven.

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.

College was a wonderful time - except, of course, when it was trying to teach you things.

A grandchild is God’s reward for raising a child.

Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you.

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.

Man can not live by bread alone... he must have peanut butter.

My mother was an authority on pigsties. This is the worst looking pigsty I've ever seen in my life.

You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it's sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap!