Quotes & Jokes by Bill Cosby / page 7
College was a wonderful time - except, of course, when it was trying to teach you things.
Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in).
You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven.
A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.
A person that is going to go out and get so drunk that you're going to get sick is just an<br /> all-time dumb person.
It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.
My children think my mother is the most wonderful woman on the face of the Earth. And I keep telling my children, “That’s not the same woman I grew up with. You’re looking at an old person who’s trying to get into heaven now.”
Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you.
My grandpa didn't believe in hugging and kissing, or saying "I love you." His love had to do with the way he treated you. When he said, "We're going here, we're going there," he was telling me about life. That was his love for me. My love for him was listening to what he said, keeping out of trouble, doing right, being fair.
You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it's sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap!
People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.
My mother was an authority on pigsties. This is the worst looking pigsty I've ever seen in my life.
Try to be rational? I'll tell you how rational I can be. I hope that he goes out into the wilderness and gets poision ivy, and comes back and I have to treat him then he will find out how much sick people get charged.