Quotes & Jokes by Billy Connolly / page 7
I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little.
The working classes, the ones they refer to in those political programmes as "the ordinary people".
The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
Recently, I turned 60 and even more recently I turned 62, that was a Bastard, I don’t even remember the 61.
Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
There's nothing better than a fight, especially when you're watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he's a big Jessie!
Sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears! Personally I think its bollocks!
Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying.
I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.