Quotes & Jokes by Bob Hope / page 6
It sure has been a pleasure for us to broadcast for the sailors and soldiers; besides, its part of the National Defence Program to prepare our boys for anything.
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.
Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series.
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
I was on the way to my hotel, and I passed a hotel going in the opposite direction.
I led such a sheltered life I didn't go out with girls until I was almost four.
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.