Quotes & Jokes by Craig Ferguson / page 26

I know that's not the right accent, but I can't do the right accent. It's either the wrong accent or another Octomom joke.

I’ve never understood why they call junk mail “spam,” because spam is delicious and junk mail is annoying. But you can still find both under my couch.

It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.