Quotes & Jokes by Dave Chappelle / page 3
Who got the part? Chris Tucker? Shit! Who got the other part? Tell me man. Jackie Chan? That mother fucker can't even speak English!
I don't really frick with Africa cause people are starving to death and that's not ballin' to me.
Wow. That's a good question. Is "I don't know" an acceptable answer?
What is wrong with me I just bought a bag of weed from an infant.
If you're Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, and your marriage is breaking up - that's an awful thing. But to see that speculation in people, it's gotta sting a little bit.
All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high.
Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.
I see that they put every black man in the movies in a dress at some point in his career.
I care about the work I do. But I'm not going to say that money's not an issue.
Most of the people around me have a vested interest in how much money I make. You know, so a celebrity could find themselves in a position where people could have meetings about their life without them involved. And when I say 'their life' I mean not their professional life either. They could talk about their personal life.
I don’t believe in premature ejaculation. If I come, it was right on time.