Quotes & Jokes by Dave Chappelle / page 3
What is wrong with me I just bought a bag of weed from an infant.
I don't really frick with Africa cause people are starving to death and that's not ballin' to me.
All I'll say about Elian is thank God he's Cuban. 'Cause if he was Haitian you'd've never heard about his ass. If Elian Gonzales was Elian Mumumbo from Haiti, they would've pushed that little rubber tube right back in the water. "Sorry little fella, all full. Good luck!"
Wow. That's a good question. Is "I don't know" an acceptable answer?
If you're Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, and your marriage is breaking up - that's an awful thing. But to see that speculation in people, it's gotta sting a little bit.
All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high.
I care about the work I do. But I'm not going to say that money's not an issue.
Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.
Most of the people around me have a vested interest in how much money I make. You know, so a celebrity could find themselves in a position where people could have meetings about their life without them involved. And when I say 'their life' I mean not their professional life either. They could talk about their personal life.
I see that they put every black man in the movies in a dress at some point in his career.
I don’t believe in premature ejaculation. If I come, it was right on time.
Why don't you click your heels three times and go back to Africa.