Quotes & Jokes by Dave Chappelle / page 4

I don't normally talk about my religion publicly because I don't want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful if you learn it the right way.

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.

What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAP!!!!

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.

You can become famous but you can't become unfamous. You can become infamous but not unfamous.

I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.

I don't like letting my friends drive drunk, but I was smoking a joint I really couldn't say shit to the guy.

I love being famous - it's phenomenal.

I don't want the money. I don't want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again.

I just always loved stand-up. It's like magic. You say something, and a whole room full of people laughs together. Say something else, they laugh again. The fact that people come to see that and participate in that... I don't know, it's just like magic.

My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive.

After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding.

I got real important relationships in my life that are very empowering relationships.

Stand-up is the kind of gig that'll show you where you're at.