Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 10

Perhaps being hated in the right way is preferable to being loved in the wrong one.

Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.

Being a white supremacist is like getting into porn. At some point you gotta be like, "what the fuck was I thinking?"

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.

I think you're retarded, and not in the cute way.

My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like "no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle".

When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.

Nature's beauty never fails to fill me with a sense of wonder and awe, and still, I refuse to go camping.

How can there not already be a rapper named 'O'pinion'?

You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.

When rappers call each other "son" it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.

I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Most people that commit to a life of celibacy weren't leaving that much on the table in the first place.