Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 11
Seems the first person to call someone a whore is usually another whore.
When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like "no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle".
I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
It may not be in the constitution, but every American has a god-given right to provinciality and ignorance.
Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.
Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
I'd find myself more interesting if I weren't with me all the time.
Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
Nature's beauty never fails to fill me with a sense of wonder and awe, and still, I refuse to go camping.
If I were a bad black comic I would name my special, "Yo mama, and other stories of a lack of self awareness".
Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.