Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 11
Is it cynical to assume that anyone smiling is a liar and a criminal?
Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.
To understand one's self is to understand all of humanity, unless you're like my friend Mike, he's a fuckin' idiot.
I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
At the gym; I've given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse.
Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, "this is going to hurt me more than it will you".
I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
It may not be in the constitution, but every American has a god-given right to provinciality and ignorance.
Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
My friend said, 'Try lamb skin. They're really thin. Lamb skin condoms, they're good.' And they are. What he didn't tell me was that right when you begin to conduct business, the whole room smells like a gyro. We were doing our thing. She said, 'What's that?' I said, 'I don't know, but I'm getting hungry.'
Everyone I know with a kid says, "you gotta try it"... It's not a joint. I can't just put it out in an ash tray when I'm done.
Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.