Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 11
Is it cynical to assume that anyone smiling is a liar and a criminal?
Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.
I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
To understand one's self is to understand all of humanity, unless you're like my friend Mike, he's a fuckin' idiot.
Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, "this is going to hurt me more than it will you".
I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
It may not be in the constitution, but every American has a god-given right to provinciality and ignorance.
At the gym; I've given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse.
How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
Everyone I know with a kid says, "you gotta try it"... It's not a joint. I can't just put it out in an ash tray when I'm done.
My friend said, 'Try lamb skin. They're really thin. Lamb skin condoms, they're good.' And they are. What he didn't tell me was that right when you begin to conduct business, the whole room smells like a gyro. We were doing our thing. She said, 'What's that?' I said, 'I don't know, but I'm getting hungry.'