Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 13
Parenthood seems really rewarding... like martyrdom, but without the glamour.
The only time used underwear is valuable is as evidence during a rape trial.
Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
Self hatred is a bitch. That being said, people who really like themselves rarely produce anything interesting or creative.
I really appreciate the way you don't appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again.
You're pregnant? Congratulations, the world needs another mindless, semiliterate consumer.
Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
Writing a new film about cereal killers. Not serial killers, cereal killers. The main character can eat two, three boxes at a time.
It may not be in the constitution, but every American has a god-given right to provinciality and ignorance.
Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
I've always wanted children... not of my own, but for yard work and reaching into tight places to get things I've dropped.
One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.