Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 14

If you hug someone goodbye and their response is "what the hell are you doing?" - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.

Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.

Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?

Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.

Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?

The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.

You realize what level of misery you have to be experiencing to see my 10-speed tied to a pole and then just be like, 'Look at this rich bastard right here!'

Just once I want to hear a motivational speaker whisper in my ear, "ya know, this is all bullshit right?"

The best thing about bugs is their lack of self consciousness, also the ability to fly doesn't hurt.

I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.

Another thing rappers, I admire your rebellious spirit, but materialism is a form of mental slavery. Slow down on the jewelry, pick up a book.

You know you've been listening to too much hip hop when you're response to a red light is "can't stop, won't stop son!".

There are few places more lonely than a crowded night club.

I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.

Few things are more negative than thinking positive for no reason.