Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 15
I like to be able to connect with people. And that’s how I connect, right away. I like to really talk to somebody. To me, it makes my night more interesting.
I really appreciate the way you don't appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again.
You know you've been listening to too much hip hop when you're response to a red light is "can't stop, won't stop son!".
I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.
We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.
Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
Writing a new film about cereal killers. Not serial killers, cereal killers. The main character can eat two, three boxes at a time.
Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
I don't trust you. I don't like you, and I don't respect you. That being said, I'm bored out of my mind and I'd like to invite you to dinner.
Parenthood seems really rewarding... like martyrdom, but without the glamour.
Another thing rappers, I admire your rebellious spirit, but materialism is a form of mental slavery. Slow down on the jewelry, pick up a book.
One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.
I just don't feel like you're right for me... sorry, just talking to myself.