Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 15
I like to be able to connect with people. And that’s how I connect, right away. I like to really talk to somebody. To me, it makes my night more interesting.
Writing a new film about cereal killers. Not serial killers, cereal killers. The main character can eat two, three boxes at a time.
I'm pretty sure whoever said, "people are wonderful" spent very little time with people.
The only time used underwear is valuable is as evidence during a rape trial.
You know you've been listening to too much hip hop when you're response to a red light is "can't stop, won't stop son!".
Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
I don't trust you. I don't like you, and I don't respect you. That being said, I'm bored out of my mind and I'd like to invite you to dinner.
One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.
Parenthood seems really rewarding... like martyrdom, but without the glamour.
We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.
Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
Another thing rappers, I admire your rebellious spirit, but materialism is a form of mental slavery. Slow down on the jewelry, pick up a book.
Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.