Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 16

I just don't feel like you're right for me... sorry, just talking to myself.

Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, "Satan is a myth... I guess".

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

There are few places more lonely than a crowded night club.

Few things are more negative than thinking positive for no reason.

I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.

Great marriages are like the Higgs Boson particle, its existence has been theorized, but no one has ever seen one.

Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think "why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility"?

Patriotism for the sake of is like choosing sides in a war based on the color of their uniforms.

I don't know about you, but I like to fall in love on Mondays. This way if things go south right away you still have the weekend.

I like the way you don't like me, but still let me have sex with you because you don't like yourself.

You and I go together like energy drinks and flat brim ball caps.

I'd like you much better if you didn't like yourself so much.

The Middle East is America's 'champagne room'. No matter how much you spend, you will still never get what you want.

Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.