Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 17

You and I go together like energy drinks and flat brim ball caps.

Water polo would be much more interesting if they hadn't gotten rid of the horses.

The world treats beautiful people like they're good at something, which makes it so that they almost never get good at something.

Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.

I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.

We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.

Seems the first person to call someone a whore is usually another whore.

I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she's what's known as "not at all attracted to me".

I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.

I'd like you much better if you didn't like yourself so much.

I don't like the term 'intercourse'. I've always described sex as having taken her vagina 'into custody'.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.