Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 19
I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she's what's known as "not at all attracted to me".
Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
If you spend a lot of time shopping for athletic clothes, you may want to consider spending less time thinking about high school.
If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said "southern and sassy, it's all good". Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.
America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
I'm told anal sex is like Mariachi music. It hurts at first, but you get used to it, ultimately maybe even throw on a large hat and enjoy it.
No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
People that say I have a 'fear of commitment' don't understand my relationship with popcorn.