Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 19
I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of.
You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she's what's known as "not at all attracted to me".
People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
Saying, "have a great work-out" is like saying, "I hope you pull something".
America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said "southern and sassy, it's all good". Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
I'm told anal sex is like Mariachi music. It hurts at first, but you get used to it, ultimately maybe even throw on a large hat and enjoy it.
If you spend a lot of time shopping for athletic clothes, you may want to consider spending less time thinking about high school.