Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 19
Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
I'll bet a lot more people would use the phrase 'go fuck yourself' more often if no one needed money.
Did a gig the other night that made one of my jokes feel like Jesus because it died as a result of their sins, not mine.
Finding your voice is something you have to keep working at. Your voice as a comic evolves the same way that you evolve. You have to find out what works for you. How can you express your opinion, your take on the situations in a way that feels natural to you? That’s where you find your voice.
I'm told anal sex is like Mariachi music. It hurts at first, but you get used to it, ultimately maybe even throw on a large hat and enjoy it.
When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.