Quotes & Jokes by Drew Carey / page 5
I didn't see it coming, ... But Comedy Central wanted to do it and will air all 13 shows that we did. That's why I'm going out on this tour. If the show wasn't picked up, I would probably be flying off to a sporting event or something in October. I wanted to take a couple of years off, but that will have to wait because of the show and the tour.
I'm getting drunk, watching Sabrina and wondering if 9:30 is too early to go to bed.
The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I just had to beat them.
Thousand points for everybody! Usually a thousand, but for you, nine ninety-nine! Nine ninety-nine! I'm giving the points away, only nine ninety-nine! I'm craaaazy!
I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.
No Faith! At least wait a few minutes until rush hour is over. You're wearing a teddy bear backpack, everyone is gonna want to hit ya.
One of these days I'm going to bite you and I'm gonna get very, very sick.
There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.
As you know, I'm from Cleveland, Ohio. I love Cleveland, Ohio. I based my whole career on being from Cleveland, Ohio. And you also might know that Cleveland, Ohio, is going through some tough times right now.
Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over.
The economy is in trouble, schools are in trouble, and people have been leaving the city in droves for a long, long time.