Quotes & Jokes by Drew Carey / page 5
No Faith! At least wait a few minutes until rush hour is over. You're wearing a teddy bear backpack, everyone is gonna want to hit ya.
I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.
Thanks Kate, and don't forget to call that number, there is no such thing as a little crack problem.
I've got to say that I don't see myself as some sort of political type like Alec Baldwin or Barbra Streisand. I don't want to come across like that.
As you know, I'm from Cleveland, Ohio. I love Cleveland, Ohio. I based my whole career on being from Cleveland, Ohio. And you also might know that Cleveland, Ohio, is going through some tough times right now.
One of these days I'm going to bite you and I'm gonna get very, very sick.
The economy is in trouble, schools are in trouble, and people have been leaving the city in droves for a long, long time.
It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
Thousand points for everybody! Usually a thousand, but for you, nine ninety-nine! Nine ninety-nine! I'm giving the points away, only nine ninety-nine! I'm craaaazy!
The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.
I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them.