Quotes & Jokes by Drew Carey / page 6
I think a lot of people are afraid of freedom. They want their lives to be controlled, to be put into a box... People like that cradle-to-grave concept because it says you don't have to think too much, you don't have to worry too much, because someone else is looking out for you. But that also means you can't do as much as you want. Why should someone else put a limit on how much fun I can have; how much I can accomplish?
If you want to play the "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" home game, just send us a million dollars, and we'll send you a desk and four stools.
The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.
I like to think of my house as nothing more than a glorified console for my television; the ultimate stereo cabinet.
The hardest diet I was ever on was the one when I was fat. You can only wear fat clothes, you dont feel good, your sex life gets damaged, you dont have energy for anything. Its horrible.
When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then take a week off.
I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.
There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game.
Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them.
Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you.
Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.
If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.