Quotes & Jokes by Drew Carey / page 6
The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.
I think a lot of people are afraid of freedom. They want their lives to be controlled, to be put into a box... People like that cradle-to-grave concept because it says you don't have to think too much, you don't have to worry too much, because someone else is looking out for you. But that also means you can't do as much as you want. Why should someone else put a limit on how much fun I can have; how much I can accomplish?
It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
I like to think of my house as nothing more than a glorified console for my television; the ultimate stereo cabinet.
The hardest diet I was ever on was the one when I was fat. You can only wear fat clothes, you dont feel good, your sex life gets damaged, you dont have energy for anything. Its horrible.
When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then take a week off.
Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them.
Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you.
There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game.
I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.
Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.
That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever. I really enjoy their company just as people. You couldn't ask for a better work environment.