Quotes & Jokes by Drew Carey / page 7

129 quotes

When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then take a week off.

I don't get it, how does a guy look at his girlfriend without doubling over?

Weirdo. Weirdo. Underachiever. Weirdo. Weirdo.

Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you.

I can't do that. I'm already the single guy living in his parents' house. I can't be seen digging a grave in the middle of the night.

When I'm working, I'm going to avoid all media. No newspapers, no magazines, no movies, no radio, no TV. I'm just going to do creative work.

There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game.

Has anyone ever tested your makeup for lead?

People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.

If you want to play the "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" home game, just send us a million dollars, and we'll send you a desk and four stools.

I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas.

We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.

I'm competitive at everything.

But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.

I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else.