Quotes & Jokes by Drew Carey / page 7

129 quotes

Weirdo. Weirdo. Underachiever. Weirdo. Weirdo.

When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then take a week off.

When I'm working, I'm going to avoid all media. No newspapers, no magazines, no movies, no radio, no TV. I'm just going to do creative work.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you.

I can't do that. I'm already the single guy living in his parents' house. I can't be seen digging a grave in the middle of the night.

I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas.

There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game.

People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.

But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.

I'm competitive at everything.

We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.

The Marines gave me a really strong sense of discipline and a work ethic that kicks in at my job.

Has anyone ever tested your makeup for lead?

If you want to play the "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" home game, just send us a million dollars, and we'll send you a desk and four stools.