Quotes & Jokes by Drew Carey / page 7

It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.

When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot.

Hey, here's a tip for you: The next time you have the world by the balls, don't twist them.

Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you.

People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.

I don't get it, how does a guy look at his girlfriend without doubling over?

But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.

'Green Screen' was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

I can't do that. I'm already the single guy living in his parents' house. I can't be seen digging a grave in the middle of the night.

When I'm working, I'm going to avoid all media. No newspapers, no magazines, no movies, no radio, no TV. I'm just going to do creative work.

What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously.

I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas.

We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.