Quotes & Jokes by Drew Carey / page 7

'Green Screen' was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.

That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever. I really enjoy their company just as people. You couldn't ask for a better work environment.

Weirdo. Weirdo. Underachiever. Weirdo. Weirdo.

And for you kids watching at home, remember, the less homework you do and the closer you sit to the TV, the more points you get.

My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals.

Hey, here's a tip for you: The next time you have the world by the balls, don't twist them.

I don't get it, how does a guy look at his girlfriend without doubling over?

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously.

People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.

I can't do that. I'm already the single guy living in his parents' house. I can't be seen digging a grave in the middle of the night.

But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.

When I'm working, I'm going to avoid all media. No newspapers, no magazines, no movies, no radio, no TV. I'm just going to do creative work.

I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas.

We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.