Quotes & Jokes by Drew Carey / page 8

The Marines gave me a really strong sense of discipline and a work ethic that kicks in at my job.

I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas.

I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else.

The laughs are honestly bigger, ... They are the kind of unexpected belly laughs you get with your friends during conversation.

As far as exercising goes... watch for my next book, How I died while Jogging.

What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously.

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

It sucks being fat, you know.

If frogs could fly... well we'd still be in this mess, but wouldn't it be neat?

I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.

I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them.

Yeah, apparently chasing a bus uses different muscles than sitting and eating.

After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine.

I took another swig of brain-cell-be-gone and tried to act calm.

I don't know, people take chances on stage. It's a big free speech zone, a comedy show. So sometimes things happen, you say things that are a little bit off the edge.