Quotes & Jokes by George Carlin / page 22
I am a personal optimist but a skeptic about all else. What may sound to some like anger is really nothing more than sympathetic contempt. I view my species with a combination of wonder and pity, and I root for its destruction. And please don't confuse my point of view with cynicism; the real cynics are the ones who tell you everything's gonna be all right.
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,<br /> For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain.<br /> America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,<br /> And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
As far as I’m concerned, humans have not come up with a belief that’s worth believing.
If a piece requires some specific inflection, I'll record it. I take a lot of notes, and later categorize them, combining them alongside existing ideas, and eventually put a piece together.
I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don’t trust any organization that has a handbook.
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn’t your biggest problem.
In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who "don't know." What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
And off we go, out onto the highway looking for a little fun. Perhaps a flatbed truck loaded with human cadavers will explode in front of a Star Trek reunion. One can only dream and hope.